Review - Nine Dead
Hmmm, you know up until about the 80 something minute I was, well not enjoying Nine Dead but at least it was watchable. Then it became silly. No wait, silly is wearing a hat at night time. This just turned plain stupid.
The plot of Nine Dead reads like a Saw reject (and that is saying something!) 9 people locked in a room, handcuffed to poles, every ten minutes one of them will die...unless they figure out why they are there. Sounds ok, right? And for a little while, yep it is ok.
Then the 'twist' comes along and turns everything sour.
The cast is alright, with a bunch of no namers and Sabrina the teenage witch - Melissa Joan Hart. There were times when I thought that annoying cat from the TV series was the killer, alas it wasn't but it would've made far more sense and there would've been some snappy cat related gags.
MJH acts well enough but there seems little point. The pale, pasty little burger that she is, does her best with the other actors and since her production company ponied up the cash for this, me thinks the star also had a bit to do with the other actors getting selected, so she'd look like Orson Welles next to them.
The killers methods of capture aren't at all elaborate.
Distract.
Taze.
Repeat.
Then the kills aren't even interesting or shocking enough to make the audience care.
A decent idea, that if given some real time and effort put into the script development and having a think about things in general, this could've been a cult-ish hit, which is a real shame because we need more pale and pasty girls in film and Fairuza Balk can't carry the torch alone!
We need more MJH people!
The plot of Nine Dead reads like a Saw reject (and that is saying something!) 9 people locked in a room, handcuffed to poles, every ten minutes one of them will die...unless they figure out why they are there. Sounds ok, right? And for a little while, yep it is ok.
Then the 'twist' comes along and turns everything sour.
The cast is alright, with a bunch of no namers and Sabrina the teenage witch - Melissa Joan Hart. There were times when I thought that annoying cat from the TV series was the killer, alas it wasn't but it would've made far more sense and there would've been some snappy cat related gags.
MJH acts well enough but there seems little point. The pale, pasty little burger that she is, does her best with the other actors and since her production company ponied up the cash for this, me thinks the star also had a bit to do with the other actors getting selected, so she'd look like Orson Welles next to them.
The killers methods of capture aren't at all elaborate.
Distract.
Taze.
Repeat.
Then the kills aren't even interesting or shocking enough to make the audience care.
A decent idea, that if given some real time and effort put into the script development and having a think about things in general, this could've been a cult-ish hit, which is a real shame because we need more pale and pasty girls in film and Fairuza Balk can't carry the torch alone!
We need more MJH people!
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